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Aries:
With an intense lunar phase coming to completion, you'll feel
more confident about your decisions. Yes, it's okay to break
up with Manic-Depressive Mel. You might have sympathy for
his mental problems, but he crossed a line when he dressed
your dog in a Marilyn Manson getup. And stand your ground
when you're telling your fat female buddy that it's best just
to remain friends. Just because she hasn't slept with anyone
in years doesn't mean that you are obligated to take on charity
work. Be a true Ram and put yourself first.
Taurus:
You could feel funky and hallucinogenic this week. Neptune
is beaming you with some spacey vibes, so use discernment.
You might think that the New World Order has been secretly
monitoring your telephone conversations. And you could become
convinced that aliens are trying to influence you through
a device that has been implanted beneath your skin. It's time
for a reality check. Who would waste all of that time policing
a slacker who can't hold down a job or a relationship? The
government is good at wasting money, but it's not that good.
Gemini:
These days, you're wondering how you ended up living in such
an unimaginative locale. Without regular access to culture,
your country bumpkin genes tend to reassert themselves. Before
long, you're wallowing about in a greasy tee-shirt, forgetting
to wash, and embracing Kentucky Fried Chicken as gourmet fare.
You'd better snap out of it. Don’t let yourself end
up stinky and alone, with only a goat for company. A balmy
Moon trine will encourage you to seek a more vibrant environment
over the weekend. (And no, the parking lot of the local Dairy
Queen doesn't qualify.)
Leo:
As a warm-hearted Fire sign, you are famous for your kindness.
But this week, you'll want to stomp on small puppies and to
knock wobbly senior citizens off of their walkers. A latent
evil streak may surface as a Moon opposition turns you into
The Cranky Wonder. It's okay to engage in some random acts
of badness, as long as they're not too insidious. Calling
off work to indulge in a languid day of sex and mayhem is
one thing. Vandalizing your boss' car with the phrase "Desperately
seeking brain," is another.
Virgo:
Over the past two months, your financial security has been
as endangered as Robert Blake's future acting career. You've
felt uncertain about your ability to pull through, much less
accumulate wealth. But the Moon will be conjunct Uranus Friday
night. (This sounds painful, but it's actually a positive
thing.) You could have a sudden insight that will help you
to leave Loser's Lane and to start journeying down Abundance
Alley. If you follow those hunches, you'll soon make friends
with folks who have bulging wallets instead of tightened budgets.
Libra:
You're seeking out the company of people who have taste and
style. Unfortunately, you'll have to clear through some Britney
Spears fans and Ricki Martin lovers first. Be patient. With
the Moon trine Mercury, you're in the process of refining
your social circle. It could take several months before you
have sifted through the rejects and located a few treasures.
Be on the lookout for a potential soulmate who shares your
ironic approach to life. In the meantime, avoid the humor-impaired,
whose disease can be contagious.
Scorpio:
You could feel like you are in the final scene of an adventure
film. The soundtrack is playing dramatic, intense, music.
The hero (that would be you) is racing boldly towards something,
desperate to win. Well, when the Moon's trine to Mars kicks
in on the weekend, you won't be feeling so desperate. The
thing that you are seeking will be within reach. Maybe you'll
finally find an apartment that doesn't reek of onions or dog
stink. Or perhaps you'll land a date with an untouchable,
gorgeous type. A happy ending could be in sight.
Sagittarius:
All Sags have a perpetual open door policy. Old roommates,
former flames, and distant cousins are welcome to crash at
your place if they happen to be in town. And if a friend has
a quarrel with a live-in love, your couch is always available.
But a Mercury/Pluto opposition could put you in a less generous
mood. You'll be asking, "What's in it for me?" instead
of "How can I be of service?" This is good, since
boundaries are hard for you to erect. (You do, however, excel
at handling other types of erections.)
Capricorn:
You tend to be very discerning when it comes to love. You're
picky about who you share fluids with (which is a good thing.)
But you have recently encountered someone who is both intriguing
and bizarre. As Mercury and Venus do a slinky lambada this
week, you could venture closer to this colorful character.
Will you do the forbidden dance together? Or will you simply
sniff this person up and down, examining him or her from all
sides? An investigation could prove fruitful.
Aquarius:
Playful Venus influences are making you whimsical and weird.
(Not that this state is unusual for you.) You could find yourself
delivering a Strip-O-Gram to your honey at work for the sheer
thrill factor. Or you might decide to send a raunchy love
letter to a nerdy neighbor, just to get her knickers in a
twist. You'll want to inject a devilish grin into every situation.
You could even resume an unusual private hobby, such as collecting
fireflies and naming them after ex-lovers. Whatever burps
your goat.
Pisces:
The Moon is returning to your sign after a long month of personal
challenges. You've handled some intense situations with your
usual grace. You barely blinked an eye when your lover announced
that he was moving back in with his mother because she looks
after him better. Or you didn't twitch when your sweetheart
took off for Vegas to become a showgirl. Change is in the
wind, but the breeze is refreshing. As this lunar cycle finishes,
you'll realize that you've been rescued from a situation that
was headed for the Heartburn Zone.
Ever
wonder how you turned out so fabulous? Your birth report explains
everything. Send a check or money order to Jennifer Shepherd,
P.O. Box 226, Stockton, NJ 08559. $39 for a 32 page report;
$59 for your report plus three questions answered. Questions
can cover any subject. Be sure to include your time, date,
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